In all honesty… it’s not that easy! I’ve recently been working to help a nonprofit board and staff leadership team to improve their working relationship (a vital step before jumping into collaborating on a strategic plan). What’s so interesting in this work is the natural tendency we all have to pick sides… and… it’s not about that at all.
On the one hand, the more senior board members feel like they should not have to watch their words, that, instead, we’re a small nonprofit that’s like a family and we shouldn’t need any filters between us. On the other hand, the staff is overwhelmed by the amount, tone, and frequency of the “help” they receive while they are trying to advance a national (and very topical) mission with only a handful of staff members to get the work done.
What we’ve realized together are a few key steps to “solving” this dilemma:
- Start by really listening to understand (vs. listening to respond)
- Remember your big “why” that brings you to work for and with this organization (it’s your north star)
- Give less weight to how things were done in the past and more weight to what’s needed in this moment
- Co-create how you want to be with each other and know you will make mistakes (revert to previous habits)
- Consider what you want the person you’re working with to think, say, feel, and do as a result of your interaction (Note: it may change the content, tone, and vehicle of your communications)
Finally, consider not going it alone. This is NOT a commercial for my services but instead the lesson learned that it’s hard to see something when you’re in the middle of it. Having an impartial third party help you work through difficult situations is a small investment for a big payoff towards changing less than optimal behaviors.
If you want to talk through this further, just reach out and/or take one of my free coaching sessions for this month (I have two left to give!)
Until then… stay well and stay sage!!
Robin
