… to myself and others!
Last year a friend gifted me a necklace with my chosen word of the year… “focus”. My thought was that if I could be more focused I could get rid of my monkey brain and any trace of ADD that may be impacting my performance and relationships. In retrospect, what I experienced was a very hard and inward-looking experience. I would get mad at myself for getting distracted. I would worry that there was something wrong with me and that I was risking a lot based on my “weakness” in this area.
What I’m realizing now is that being present is a better and more needed gift I can give to myself and to others. What does this mean to me? I’m reminded of a great boss I had back in my IBM days, Mark Elliott. Mark would go into any meeting with only a pen and a blank notepad – no phone, no computer, no multi-tasking. When you were in a meeting with Mark, you knew you would have his total attention, expertise, and care. Yes, care. He cared about the way he presented his thoughts, he cared that those with him were heard, and he cared that we learned from each other. Now, I was his Chief of Staff and was always in the room to catch anything that might fall through the cracks while he was busy being present. So not having my own Chief of Staff, how might I make this my own way of being in my current professional and personal life?
The answer came to me in a coaching session of my own (yes, coaches have coaches!). For me, being present starts with embodying what that posture feels like. Focus takes on a posture of shoulders hunched and vision centered down on one thing. Presence for me has my shoulders back, my vision expansive, and my heart (and other senses) more open. The next step is realizing my own human-ness. I reserve time after each meeting to capture notes while it’s all fresh in my mind. That said, something just might fall through the cracks and/or I might get something wrong. And… that’s OK! I’m human. I partner with my clients and bring in support when needed. And… if I make mistakes, I’ll learn from them.
So as I enter a very busy September working with clients on crucial issues like combatting gun violence, unleashing the potential of communities, and engaging young people to vote, all while providing mental fitness workshops in Minnesota, strategic planning workshops in New York, and, hopefully, performing well in our tennis playoffs… my commitment to myself, my family and friends, and those I serve, is to be present!!! Sure seems a lot easier, more enjoyable, more appreciated, and more effective. I’ll keep you posted how it all goes.
In the meantime… what’s your commitment this month?? Reach out if you want to work through this question for yourself! Until then… stay sage!
